Ok. So. I am getting ready to dive into another adventure in the following my dream category. I am heading down to NYC again, this time for an acting intensive weekend. The down and dirty, nitty gritty, reach down to the core kind.
I am not going to lie. I am excited, yes. But, I am also nervous, apprehensive, slightly petrified, blah blah blah.
Sigh.
I know, cut it out and put my big girl pants on. They are, no worries...I am doing this. After all, getting out of your comfort zone is what you are supposed to do, right? Otherwise, how do you grow, or move forward? I guess I just still have some of that apprehension, or doubt, creeping up into my head...the "what if I am nowhere near the same level as the other students," or "what if I am not as 'serious' an actor as the others," or "what if I don't like it?" Basically the thought that yes, I am excited and happy to be pursuing my dream, but what if I find out it's not actually what I am meant to be doing? I don't think I will actually come out feeling that way, but the little doubt voice is there, at least sometimes.
Well there, I am glad I got that out. That's the first step anyway...admit the feelings of insecurity, now I can work on putting them behind me and stop them from getting in the way of progress. I plan to shed them within the first few minutes of walking into the studio door on Saturday morning. After all, how can one actually move forward...and truthfully...with doubts, no matter how big or little, floating around in your mind?
There IS one other thing giving me anxiety today...probably even more so. Going over my home "to-do" list in my head...and the route I have to take with it...unless I want to waste a quarter tank of gas, I am going to have to go to (sharp intake of breath here) Walmart.
Just typing it made my stomach funny. Seriously. I haven't been to one of those "W" stores in a few years. But, the house needs toilet paper and paper towels. What can I say? I will survive.