Ok. So. I am getting ready to dive into another adventure in the following my dream category. I am heading down to NYC again, this time for an acting intensive weekend. The down and dirty, nitty gritty, reach down to the core kind.
I am not going to lie. I am excited, yes. But, I am also nervous, apprehensive, slightly petrified, blah blah blah.
Sigh.
I know, cut it out and put my big girl pants on. They are, no worries...I am doing this. After all, getting out of your comfort zone is what you are supposed to do, right? Otherwise, how do you grow, or move forward? I guess I just still have some of that apprehension, or doubt, creeping up into my head...the "what if I am nowhere near the same level as the other students," or "what if I am not as 'serious' an actor as the others," or "what if I don't like it?" Basically the thought that yes, I am excited and happy to be pursuing my dream, but what if I find out it's not actually what I am meant to be doing? I don't think I will actually come out feeling that way, but the little doubt voice is there, at least sometimes.
Well there, I am glad I got that out. That's the first step anyway...admit the feelings of insecurity, now I can work on putting them behind me and stop them from getting in the way of progress. I plan to shed them within the first few minutes of walking into the studio door on Saturday morning. After all, how can one actually move forward...and truthfully...with doubts, no matter how big or little, floating around in your mind?
There IS one other thing giving me anxiety today...probably even more so. Going over my home "to-do" list in my head...and the route I have to take with it...unless I want to waste a quarter tank of gas, I am going to have to go to (sharp intake of breath here) Walmart.
Just typing it made my stomach funny. Seriously. I haven't been to one of those "W" stores in a few years. But, the house needs toilet paper and paper towels. What can I say? I will survive.

So. I'm back.

I am sitting on a bus on the way home from a new adventure. I hopped on the bus from NH on Sunday to take me to the Big Apple...I took a couple of classes at Paul Michael's The Network yesterday. I got to stay with my brother in law and his wife in Brooklyn, which meant visiting my beautiful 1yr old nephews! Yay me!

I have to admit feeling some apprehension the closer to class time it got. However, this feeling of apprehension was A LOT less than what it might have been even a year ago. Which made it a lot easier for me to ignore it and not let it invade my brain...

The first class was an audition workshop on how to "Sherlock Holmes the script," by the writer of the book Tim Phillips. It was a 6 hr class where you could come and go as you pleased. Well, I certainly didn't go. I didn't want to miss a word! It was great...sides we chose, from anything film or tv, and choose a random reader for yourself, and you're on camera. Then we watch it and Tim gives adjustments. It just so happens he trained with Meisner, and asked me if I had been Meisner-trained! I haven't been formally, so took that as a a compliment!! I enjoyed his style of teaching...do and watch and grab those teachable moments. It made it all make sense. He clearly loves doing what he's doing too.

The second class was a callback workshop with casting director Brette Goldstein. She was great...down to earth, tell it like it is, no sugary sweet topping. Plus she was looking for headshots and resumes. Nice! That was in front of camera, do scene, she suggests adjustments, do it again, and voila! Make the right changes. A little nervewracking, but not too overwhelming.

A concern I admit I now have is people getting turned off by where I live...I am not geographically accessible at a moment's notice. I feel that my challenge is to prove them wrong. To (somehow) show them that they want me enough that it doesn't matter where I come from...I will be where they need me to be.

Not to worry! All in all, despite my bum not enjoying the metal folding chairs for the 6 hours and then the 2.5 hours, it was a great day. I will do it again. Soon. Maybe with a bum pillow.

my first time...blogging

So here it is. 

My first blog post. 

I am starting this as a motivation to keep moving forward. To keep myself in check, and to create a way for others to keep me in check. 

And to share. 

I am a woman. I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter. I am an actress. That is my art. It is what I do, what keeps me sane, insane, excited, on fire, motivated, scared, smiling, frustrated. Happy. 

Next time I will go into a little about how I am where I am. Then we'll just go from there...

For now, I am proud of myself for no longer being a blog-virgin.